November 30, 2009

Life Fact.


Never EVER tell your family about your significant other (bf/gf) until you're 30.

Don't tell your family especially if they're Vietnamese & have the last names Nguyen or Tran cause...

You'll get fucked over in a situation like mine.

If Minh & I ever choose to "get engaged" it will be on our time, not anyone else.

Why do Viet people care so much about formalities & what other Viet ppl think?
Just a load of BS.

My best advice to you is to hide all your relationships until you're engaged.

There is less pressure that way cause everyone thinks you're single, and you can do whatever the hell you want to do.

I feel like my life plans are being ruined.
I have something call goals and aspirations. I think highly of my future; I always have.

I plan to get married when I'm more mature. I don't care if I'm in late 20's, early or late 30's, being successful & wealthy is something VERY important to me when I decide to get married and start a family. I don't believe in the idea of the "struggling young couple" like Minh's sister VAN TRAN believes.

VAN TRAN! I officially dislike you for making our day super awkward while you sit there entertained. Just cause you want to get married...don't pressure others!!!
I will get you back, just so you know dear "sister".


I'm ANTI-VAN TRAN!!!!!!!!!

I've seen a few "Viet" style weddings & it's laugh worthy.
That's just not my cup of tea. I've been in denial of the ghetto/embarrassing parts of Vietnamese culture.

Is it bad to look down on people who have made really dumb choices with their life?
Well, you know people look down on them all the time.
And I'm not going to allow anyone to look down on me.

Maybe I'm stubborn.

I'm not the type of person to listen to what other people tell me.

I wouldn't have DSK Jewelry if I had listen to everyone around me telling me that jewelry is just a simple hobby.

I'm just really upset that Minh's parents brought up the thoughts of engagement to my mom to be talked over with my dad.
I know my mom was thinking WTF my daughter is 22, just graduated.

lol, my MISTAKE for moving to Washington.


It was so f*cking awkward today at Minh's house.
We both had NO IDEA what was coming.

How can something as happy as the idea of "engagement" be so disturbing?

It angers me.

But at least Minh & I don't hate each other lol
But it's still unfair that our future is talked about BEHIND OUR BACKS.

Anyhow, onto something more heart warming.
We're moving in about 6 months & are planning on rescuing a dog from our local animal shelter.
We're both unfamiliar with the process, so we're trying our best to research :)

It's Minh's idea to get a big dog since his family already has 3 small ones.
We'd like to have a big dog for comfort & security.

Have anyone of you girls adopted or rescued a cat or dog from the shelter?


  1. Oh wow! sorry about the whole awkward family thing and everyone's expectations. It's like it's my life and we'll do what we want when we want. About the dog adoption, I think it's awesome in adopting a pet. There are so many animals in shelters and being put down everyday because people want a "new" puppy from a pet store that most likely gets them from terrible puppy mills that treat them like nothing and there in the tiniest cages. I have never adopted an animal from a shelter, but all the animals we have had we rescued from the streets and if we didn't would have ended up in a shelter. To be honest I think animals from shelters are the best, you take them out of a bad place, make them happy and they get to live. They will love you lots more from saving them. It's a great feeling.

  2. sorry to hear about the situation, i think lots of Asian family are too nosy...(they claim themself as a "caringggg" human being) lol. just ignore their talk that urges to to settle down or else,
    at the end, it's your life, and you are the one that know best & responsible for your own happiness ;)

    ps. visit Vancouver, BC for a day of great great food. good food is a good mood booster ;D

  3. I know what you feel.. Its really hard to get married and not ready for it. Its not a joke to get married. Its hard. I know coz I am in that situation right now. But then again I don't regret being married at 21 because I love my husband. :)

    You know when you're ready.. love cannot feed you, just remember that.. lol :P

  4. Oh god, that must be such a difficult situation ! i guess you can't criticize Minh's family openly, even though you're angry towards them :/ I hope all will be allright, have a nice day !

  5. Oh wooow....I totally know how you feel. I want to get my career and everything set before I get married, as does my boyfriend. He wants to go to law school and I'm thinking about going into teaching, so we're got lots ahead of ourselves before we even begin to seriously talk about marriage. Ugh, I can just imagine how that must have been to sit there and listen to all that... (O.o) But you're right. It's not their lives, it's yours. Do what you like. :) And who knows, maybe they'll get tired of "discussing" it. ;) Feel better!!

  6. ::sighs:: i know how you feel! my family and friends think that im going to be engaged any day now... TERRIBLE! steph, we are too young for that!!!!

    PS: cute pic of you! so pretty! =)

  7. uggghh. i totally understand what u r going thru with the whole engagement deal. my bf's dad's side of the family is super religious and they would rather get married at 18 with no money/still in school than live "in sin." My bf and I have been together for almost 10 years, and they just don't get it. We're not ready, we're just not. All of his cousins have gotten married young and aren't financially stable. They always look down on my bf and i and bug the hell of out us at every family gathering. it has gotten so bad, that i don't even want to go to the family christmas party this year. But, whatever! They're struggling and we're not. You do your thang, girl. You and minh sound like smart, reasonable people. You guys will have a bright future! <3 Rina

  8. wow... just wow I would be royally pissed as well. You just need to shrug it off and not worry about it. they can make all the plans they WANT but it's not a reality for you so it's not going to happen. I am glad your mom is on your side.

    Onto the saving a dog from a shelter, i got both of my puppies from a shelter and it's a lit of different experience. If you want to get a younger puppy you need to find out what day the new pups come in or look on a website. next you need to find out which dog your looking for. (I have a lab mix and had a German Sheppard mix) usually there is an adoption fee (around 60 bucks) and they neuter (which sucks because i wish i could have more of my dog) and do all shots so your puppy is up to date, even most places have where you can get their first check up and rabies shot free! The only issue i would have to say I would look out for is kennell cough, both my puppies got it and both got very sick and had to be nursed by me for a while.. it's suck and it's stress. Almost all dogs from shelters that use kennels have it. Another route i would tell you to look at is a animal foster parents, generally dogs a little more cared for and better adjusted than in a kennell. I would check out both and see what you like better. if you have any questions feel free to email me

  9. Oh geez. That is SO awkward. This is why I'm glad my parents haven't met my BF's parents yet... hahaha. If I can help it at all, they'll meet on my wedding day! HAHA

  10. Hey Steph! It's not just the's every Asian culture that I can think of, and that includes India, Bangaldesh, Japan, Pakistan, Malaysia, Phililppines, etc. etc.!

    Some of these women are just incredible--they sit there are discuss you looks, your weight, your income, you assets (or lack there) of, like you're not even there!!

    IGNORE THEM! Just be very successful like you want to be!

  11. Yeahy, getting a dog!!! How exciting!

    By the way, sucks what happened.. I totally agree w/building up and accomplishing your goals before marriage.. I would not want to struggle because many relationships fight about money when they get married.. I'm realy inspired that you are successful at 22, and still have years to come to do anything you want. I wish I was more goal-oriented two years ago.. HAHAH! Don't worry about it. You have so much to offer, and on your own paste.

  12. I put down a long reply to your DSK Jewelry site about animal shelters. Should have checked this site first, hehe.

    Man, I feel you about family pressure. I did get married (at 22), but I was with my husband for years before that. My husband and I got married, but we would have been just as happy (except the pressure) if we had not. We showed them; we had a really small wedding (bwahaha!).

    Marriage is a personal choice, and should not be taken lightly. Yeah, I got married, but I personally didn't care either way, since I was already planning on spending my life with my husband, and the paper is just that, a paper.

    Hehe, I don't think I'm saying it very well. I think that I'm trying to say is marriage is transforming into a more modern concept, and older ideas of what marriage and "living in sin" are are messing with what marriage is becoming. It's an expression of love, but just like any expression of love, if does not have to be in every relationship for the people in it to love each other. On the opposite route, just because you are married does not mean that you are in love.

  13. seriously asian families like to push things and make our lives super awkward. get engage when you are both ready don't let others decide that for you. because is a really special thing for the both of you. oh how i don't look forward to more awkward moments this xmas holiday from our families!

  14. Yeah I know exactly how you feel about the parents! My last relationship failed because of family intervening with that kind of stuff! It got to the point where they took control over my relations than I did! There was rumors that I was engaged and I didn't even know about it!

    I do agree with not letting your parents meet the significant other. It'll only bring tension. All of this will pass soon enough though!. However, one thing I learned is that asian people will always be stubborn when it comes to those situations. My mom still nags me about the ex and she slowly stopped when I put up the front as if it's not bothering me and that I don't really care. Maybe just laugh it off. Sometimes that helps me.

    By the way I adopted my dog from a shelter. There are a lot of pure breeds (that's a concern for some), which is a misconception about shelters. I recommend it more since the dogs come spayed/neutered, are house trained (wouldn't have to worry about surprises on your carpet all the time) and they are up to date on all of their shots.

  15. o wow.. actually i didnt know what would happen if i ever decide to tell my situation with my bf. so right now i'm single in front of them. but i really think they already know my situation. but its all cool, cuz they act like as if they don't know. *i think*
    My parents encourage me to finish what i'm doing right now, then get married after being stable in work/relation. i'm glad that they're like this..otherwise i'll be somehow more depressed, stressed than what i already am right now. im very fragile ._. ...
    On the bright side, I'm really glad to hear that you'll be moving soon soon soon. :) wish you good fortune and peace at your next place, dear *hugz*

  16. First off.. SEXY STEPH!! WHoooo!!

    LOL sorry I have to laugh! Isn't it such an Asian thing though? If the 2 fams get along, then in their minds the next logical step is MARRIGE!! But some parents take it more serious then others. Guessing Minh's & your's are those sorry!

    Good luck with the move! HOpe it's to a better place for you and Minh!

    ANd Tomo is from the Humane Society! :) Adopting her is one of the best things I've ever done! :)

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  18. Ah that's really awkward.. >< Well I'm Chinese and have had that similar kind of talk with my side of the family. But I have yet to get to know my bf's side so.. I'm really hoping that it doesn't happen to me. Although.. the first time my boyfriend told his mom that we were dating, she freaked out and asked if we were engaged.. ..... That was a really huge problem for me. I'm not interested in marriage at this point, so I'm totally with you on that note.

    Omgosh, adopting is so much better than buying. And it's so you! You're so sweet. I went with my friend to adopt a pet. He got a husky. Wasn't too old, really well trained and also had all of its shots and had perfect health. It was smart and capable, but not overly spoiled. Compared to the dogs we saw at the petshop, this dog was much more obedient and perhaps I'm biased, but much more loving. Hope that helps!

  19. That... is rough. I completely agree with you! As much as I love weddings (and my bf), they always make me realize how NOT ready I am. There's so much to see and do and experience. I know you can do things like that with a husband, but... it's just not the same.

    And yay for adopting! :)

    PS: This is an uber late reply, but I hope you love your first pair of Louboutins as much as I love mine! You definitely can't go wrong with a classic black pump though. Although I'm really wanting a pair of peep toe louboutins right now. And a nude pair. And the list goes on...

  20. Hahaha! What you said about Vietnamese weddings is so funny. I feel 'ya!

  21. WOW! I'm Viet, but the way we do engagement talk is totally different. It is usually between the two couple first, then the guy discusses it with his parents, and then they pick a day to come over the girl's side of the family to ask for an engagement between the two. Then, both sides pick a date for engagement and most of the time they talk about wedding too... but it doesn't have to be soon after the engagement. The engagement is just to acknowledge both sides of the family that they are a couple. I also heard that it is kind of a testing period before the wedding.
    I think I understand where his side of the family is coming from. I guess it is not a bad thing to get engaged, since you guys are already together. I think they are thinking of engagement to tell everybody that you guys are together, since you guys are living together and stuff. I think it is just to stop everybody from talking and to not mar your reputation.
    I hope you understand what I just said! Good luck with everything!

  22. big dogs are good!!!

    if you don't want to get married yet, there's nothing they can say or do to make you do so ... right?

    stay positive <3

  23. I think all asian parents are like that, not just viet parents. I agree its annoying but in a way, I think its way of showing that they care...Ive seen all my older cousins go through that so i vowed to never bring anyone home until im getting married...just to avoid all of that cuz like you said, Its my life and i dont think they have a right to make that decision for you if youre not sure everything will work out in the end...they always do :)


Thank you for your comments!