December 14, 2009

My Bff Bonnie Got Married.

Bonnie & Stephanie
(that's me in the background on the phone with probably my mom hahaha)

I always would use Bonnie as my makeup guinea pig. lol
I was good at painting faces & she was good at styling hair.
As college roommates, that was the perfect trade off ^_^

*this is a sensitive blog post for me, and I really want to know if you girls think I'm wrong for feeling the way I do*

*Waring: Not enough pictures for the amount of words posted hahaha*

I don't talk about my college life much on blogger because I started blogging my last semester of university life at MSU. Blogger became my outlet from the stress of daily college life. My best friend Bonnie was my college roommate for the first 2 years of college. The last two, we both lived in single dorms far apart (haha). We got along for the most part, it was just time we learned to be a bit more independent. I made some new friends & then soon met Minh.
I used to talk to Bonnie about Minh before we started dating. I was so iffy about dating him cause for one thing he was a law student (I disliked lawyers at the time), and he was a bit older than me. I met Minh when I was 19 going on 2o. Minh was 24 at the time.
Minh's a freaking cradle robber!

The age difference was pretty dramatic considering my friends were still playing video games, while his friends were reading books on real estate investing in their free time. lol

Our worlds were so different.

But back to Bonnie,

Bonnie and I were pretty inseparable our senior year in high school & first two years of college. lol FACT!

Anyhow, Bonnie doesn't really like to be in the spotlight, so I never really talk about her much since she always jokes about my internet obsession. She never really understood me apart from understanding that my room is always messy (well for 2 years OUR room). lol Not many people do understand me. Maybe a handful of people do. My mom always said I had a very different personality & comfort level. I don't ever give people a chance to get to know me. I'm really content with my life so I don't often allow new people into my life unless they really make an effort to get to know me...maybe I'm weird. I dunno!

So bff Bonnie got married in Las Vegas last month [November], and I just found on FACEBOOK cause she changed her name! ahahahaha what kind of friend am I?

Of course you know, I had to call her ass up! We spent a good 30 minutes talking. It was really nice to talk to her again, it had been 3 months since we were last seen together. We both were just busy with our own lives. I disapproved of some of the choices Bonnie made back in the day in terms of her relationship choice aka I kinda didn't like her bf since forever. I think our friendship was pulled part that last 2 years of college. For one thing, she had a her boyfriend who I never really accepted as a good friend for various reasons I won't mention. I was always cordial, and vice versa. Every since they started dating in high school, I pretty much didn't like it. And it's just not being jealous because he took away my best friend. I just didn't get a good vibe from him, and his personality really clashed with mine and she knows that. Basically, I do think her bf is the reason Bonnie & I aren't as close as we once were.

I'm pretty easy to get along with, but when someone thinks they can give me advice or think they're savvy at "business" and would like to "talk to me" , I just walk away. I don't need advice. I take it as a huge insult. lol, not to sound like an ego-maniac, but "don't you know who I am?" I come from a family of successful people. Most if not all my relatives, cousins are well educated & well rounded. Most of them married well, and by well I mean VERY well. My uncle also owns a company in Southern California & one of his clients are Kobe Bryant & his family (he's a popular basketball player for the Lakers if you're not familiarlol). If I would get advice from someone I think I would ask them first. Although, I love it most when family or friends doubt me. It gives me the motivation to work harder, get smarter, and live better. : )

Overall, moral of my story. I call the shots in all my decisions and Minh is a very intelligent man & helpful if I ever decide to ask him for help or advice. Often times, I don't ask Minh for help unless it's legal advice. I'm too prideful to seek help when I can find the answer for myself. So yeah, I got pretty upset at my friend Bonnie for sending me a message about how her bf (now husband) thought he could offer me some help. I don't need someone who thinks they know business to offer to give me business advice. lol, they have people for that, it's called a real life business consultant and people pay consultants for quality advice. best friend made the decision to get married to her boyfriend last month in Las Vegas without telling anyone until they got back. I seriously was in shock. lol I hadn't talked to this girl in 3 months & then she gets married!? WHAAA?

It really makes you feel distant when something like this happens.
lol I just joked with her...I move away for 3 months and now you're married and I found out on Facebook. nice. I was in shock for half the day. Anyhow, time will tell. That's my motto!

So best friend is married to her first high school boyfriend? Really? I'm happy for her because I love her because she's my friend. It's just hard for me to accept the fact that she changed her name to I personally believe that a powerful woman should never change her name. You've worked hard to achieve your achievements under your NAME! Why donate pride to someone else's family...? Maybe it's an Asian thing. I dunno...I'm just not used to seeing Bonnie [New Last Name]. Maybe I spent too much time in college studying identity as an intern in MSU's sociology office. Or maybe I just have too much pride in a name?

Bonnie was a 4.0 student all throughout elementary to college. Her goals are to continue on to med school, and I hope she still keeps trying! I saw so much potential in her, I just hope she doesn't let marriage get in the way of reaching her personal goal.

BGB & DSK at the Munn Ice Arena
(We both love to ice skate & rollerblade)

I miss skating with her :)
I miss skating in general lol
I'm such a fatty now!
I need to quit it.

Time to be a better me!

P.S. I took down my video because too many Christmas presents were exposed, lol Minh yelled at me. I'll try to edit out the Christmas present parts & post the video back up because it had DSK Jewelry in DSK Cam ^_^


  1. I know exactly what you mean about people trying to give you advice, I hate it, it's like their calling you stupid by saying you don't know what your doing and obviously YOU DO! ^_^

  2. i feel you on the whole finding out stuff about your bff on facebook. i have a lot of friends from high school where i find out a lot of stuff about them on facebook. lol

    as for the advice... he shouldn't give it to you esp if he doesn't know you and your life. it's just disrespectful. tsk tsk on him.

    just keep doing what you're doing.

  3. I totally agree with you about the name part. I consider my name as part of my identity and it kinda represents the bounds i have with my own family, so i don't want to switch for another one, even if i marry.

  4. hey steph, i kinda get how you feel with the whole best friend getting married thing. my best friend called me up on the phone and was like umm i'm married and i live across the country? i felt so out of the loop and like i was a bad friend. haha if minh is a cradle robber, so is andrew. he's 5 years older than me too. but we were on our senior year of college when we met. and stop calling urself a fatty before i smack u upside the head!

  5. what the hell woman why ar eyou up at 4am! lol jk...

    As far as friends and people well in the end they are "friends" they dont make decisions for you and you cant make decisions for them as long as they are there for you and you are there for them thats all that matters.

    Have a good one Lady

  6. i think you're taking it way out of context, if she wants to change her name who are you to feel/say otherwise? its HER name.

    and as far as the business help goes, maybe he was just trying to extend a helping hand, i don't see the harm or offense in that. i think you're just projecting your anger towards him (because you & bonnie aren't as close anymore) to every little thing he does. but truthfully maybe you and bonnie aren't as good friends anymore because she gets a negative vibe from you and a sense of disapproval about her life.

    she probably didn't tell you she went to go get married because she didnt wanna hear it from you. the truth is if she wants to marry him and she knows you're gunna disapprove and i guess "look down" on her for doing so then she's just not gunna tell you. yeah i would be hurt if i were in your position but i would also take it as a wakeup call, and be more supportive of my friend's decisions. if shes happy with him and he's good to her, i don't think you're in any position to judge.

  7. and you know what? standing up for your beliefs and staying true to them is great. its important to have a good built ego, but forcing them on someone else and expecting everyone to conform is just straight up insecurity. it means you need reassurance that what you believe in is right.
    don't get me wrong i'm an "ego-maniac" too, but i'm not so naive that i expect everyone to do what i do and to believe in what i believe in.

  8. I know what you mean about keeping your last name, I'd feel sad to not see my maiden last name on anything, so i figure i'll just drop my middle name to make room for a second last name!

    And I don't think you're wrong for feeling out of the loop. No one likes to hear things from a close friend (or someone who was once a close friend!) through facebook. I have a friend from beauty school, 2 hours away, and even though I could never attend because of work, she continued to send me invites for her wedding shower, wedding, and baby shower. and we hadn't spoken in probably 2 years.

    i think part of friendships is that one person is usually lacking at some point, so be there for them, because they were probably there for you at a point when you were the one lacking.

    btw, im having a bad day and your blog always cheers me up, we share the same humor- thanks! :o)

  9. I agree with you! And to be frank (and harsh) she's such a bitch not telling you! Okay, she didn't say it beforehand to anyone, but after Vegas she had plenty of time! And you're/were a good friend of hers, right? YOu were bff, dammit! Or she doesn't think like that?

    I'M not sure about the US way of names changing after marriage, but here we can keep or last names and use the husband's too. But there are many variations for this matter. Personally I like the way of having both last names. It carries pride and independence even though one is married.

    But back to Bonnie, I'm sure this won't be a long and/or successful marriage. They know each other from way too long ago, and they changed a lot and will change too! There will be more and better guys in the future. Plus, it's not normal to live an entire life with the same man. I mean, from your 20s till death. (Especially if that "man" is a d*ckhead!) It's only my opinion though!

  10. Wow, she got married without letting anyone know? That's def. a big shocker! Seems like you two were very close friends! =] I really hope marriage doesn't get in the way of her career goal!

    Did I talk to you about Woman/Wife With Power? lol. I will never change my last name for any guy and that is the fact. Maybe you're right, it is the Asian thing..... But then again, I know a lot of Asian girls who change their last name for their "husband." I don't know.. it's complicated. My mom didn't change her last name so why should I? Plus, I carry her last name.. not my shitty dad. lol. Too much pride? I don't think so. It's simply about power I guess. lol.

    Ever since I dated the guy I'm dating.... I don't ice-skate anymore and I really missed that a lot..... A LOT.

  11. Awesome post!

    Bummer you found out online, and 3 months later.. I guess things just change after a while.. I really don't talk to a lot of my friends from hs. I do keep in touch with a lot of elementary and jr. high friends though. Well, try.. Being busy and trying to catch up with friends is always the thing these days, esp. you moving so far. It's good you both talked about it; it's sad to see friendships go in different directions. I guess we just have to try to multi-task w/everything going on in life.

  12. Note to self- call Steph before getting married! haha! Did she elope? Maybe it was a random Vegas wedding?
    I know how it feels to move away and be out of the loop....

  13. Congrats again to Bonnie. But I see where you're coming from. It's hard when you don't wholly approve of a friends decisions. But have to accept them, because they are your friend. Hopefully though she continues with her education goals, and her life is a happy one. But I'd be upset too if I found out a close friend got married through FB! LOL!

  14. Yeah, I know what you mean about the mixed feelings. I went to work on a Friday night with one of my best friends who was engaged and come Monday night, I find out on Facebook that she decided to get hitched over the weekend and didn't let anyone know. I was happy for her but I couldn't help feeling angry, as well.

  15. yea, lots of things happen when people are apart :( then you find out and you feel sooooo distant.. and.. yea. it's kind of hard to get back to where it was but you know, either it'll work itself out or it won't at all.

    and nobody needs to tell DSK what to do! OG! represent!


  16. I totally feel you about family/friends/others not believing in you or thinking you can't achieve this or that. I'm just like you, I say to myself I will prove them ALL wrong and come back full circle to show them what I am capable of. It really does motivate to work that much harder. Kudos to you Steph!! :D

    And I know what you mean about not approving a friend's significant other. There's just this vibe you get about them not being a good person for your friend. I'd be upset too but like most have mentioned, at the end of the day she's still your friend. You've been through so much together so all you can do is support her and hope for the best.

  17. Oh!! I forgot to mention, I totally agree with the name changing thing. I would not be taking my future husband's last name!!! ^_^

  18. I'm so coming over to steal your MAC collection! :D :D Luckyyyy I'm so envious. But I shouldn't complain, I'm going to get some new Lancome products some time, so that should tide me over till later.

    I know how you feel about your bff getting married and how your communication seem rather lacking. It's pretty much happened me as I moved from one place to another. I lost contact with some of my friends and especially with my childhood best friend who I pretty much grew up with, then grew apart. She has her own friends, and I have mine... Then later, I met another girl, my college roommate, and thought we were pretty good friends. Turns out I didn't like her bf either and that cause a bit of a rift and eventually she didn't like the fact that I didn't like him.. and told me to stay out of her life. Cept a month later, they broke up and it had nothing to do with me.

    That bittersweet feeling when you hear from your bff, I'm sure it's both great to hear from her and also at the same time totally shocking/a bit disappointed. You always look back and think, hmm... I wish everything didn't change so much and that we were still close. It's just too bad that some things just have to change..

    In any case cheer up! ^^ You'll always have your memories. And you are not a fatty. ><

  19. wait... so do you not use any of the make-up in your collection??

    omg i would have a spaz attack if my friend got married in vegas w/out telling me
    not in a control freak kinda way
    but its kinda BIG news!!!


Thank you for your comments!