October 18, 2009

A Little Bit Down (Boring Text, Lacking Photos) LOL

It's Day #3 Minh's been out of town, but that's not the reason I'm feeling the blues.
I sit in my messy room wondering how it got so messy? I just moved in this house 4 weeks ago! I realize that I have A LOT of stuff. Growing up, I didn't really have money so I always had to ask my mom for the things I want (mostly Hello Kitty stationary, or trinkets). So I always felt like my room wasn't cool because I didn't have anything to fill it up with, just posters that I order from the school's book sales lol..or library sales whatever it was they had. I always envied my friend's rooms because it was so well furnished with beautiful everythings all around!

Around high school, I started getting more interested in my mom's business. She had her own beauty salon. I spent most of my h.s. years there in the shop meeting new customers everyday. I think I changed my nail polish every other day back then! I started to earn some money helping my mom with chores, answering the phones, and doing nail art. Guess what I spent all my money on? Every damn thing at the Morning Glory store! haha I have sooo many piggy banks, and I started collecting them. I was able to fill my room up with all the things I wanted (that was affordable at the time). Then...COLLEGE happened and I was a broke ass again, lol. I depended on the book money my mom gave me to survive. I did get a job my last year in college as a research assistant/ TA position. But that wasn't much money hahaha. I also discovered what a credit card was thanks to Minh..who suggested I get one. Basically, that was a terrible idea. Thank the lucky stars that we won so often at the casino that I could pay off my credit card bill. Ask some of my friends..last year I had a big debt. I'm so glad I paid it off...but now I have personal debt, and business debt. But I think in the long haul I'll be able to start making money to pay the debts, and save save save!!!

But now I sit here...with too much stuff. lol I'm a big pack rat, I can't let much go. I always think of the memory tied to the item. I have a very good memory so I always remember when I bought something and the reason why I bought it. My memory has always helped me through school. I didn't have to study as hard when it came to written material, or sitting through lectures. I just need to rehearse it once and I'm set. It helped in band class too lol I played the clarinet and we would have to practice, practice, practice. But now, that memory makes it hard to part with my things! Everything I come across something I like, it comes home with me. I'm a impulsive shopper. I don't think twice =/

I drag it home, forget about it..find it later and think to myself..oh I remember how badly I wanted it. It's just one of those things! You always want what you can't or don't yet have!

Can you picture me in a bead shop? I go crazy, I always buy the whole stock of an item. I can't help it! It's almost an addiction. I've been trying to organize my workspace tonight and just gave up. Worst yet.. I spent $80 at the Japanese $1.50 store buying plastic containers to store my crystals & silver findings...ahhh FML. I called Minh and told him about the damage I did today. I SPENT $80 on PLASTIC lol. He kind of gave me a lecture, which I well needed.

He told me that my mom called it, she told us both that I will realize how hard it is to live on my own. Minh's been gone..and I have to make my own food. lol I was so spoiled at home. My mom would cook twice a day...we'd always have food in the house, fruits, snacks, anything!

Now..it's just so much harder to have a good home cooked meal. I find myself snacking on random food just to not be hungry lol because I'm too scared to go outside the house without Minh. Note, I'm in a new city..I have no family..or really any of my close friends but Minh =/

Well, I lie. My jewelry is my friend. I could sit here 18hrs a day (which I've been doing lately) playing with my crystal beads. There's always something to do at my desk. There are 100 ideas going through my head at once and just not enough hands to bring them to life. I think I would be super depressed if the internet didn't exist. lol

Well..I'll try to make the best of things.

I realized that I dislike the house I'm living in, it's too big. We don't need a big ass house in the hills. It's foggy. It's steep! Driving sucks! I hate backing out of our driveway because it's a hill in itself...My bumper hits the curb, everytime I roll down the hill into the street. =/ Plus, it's a bit expensive to live here..I'm from the Midwest! Everything there is affordable, especially cost of living.

I think I liked living at my parents house...care free! & FREE lol

Overall, I think I'm sad because I miss home, and Minh.
He's the reason I moved here and when he's not here I feel out of place.

fo realz.

Okie..less depressing stuff that nobody cares about.

Time for pictures of my Winkie bear! P.S. Minh doesn't like rodents... lol we got into a fight the day we brought her home >.< Her Cinderella style "running wheel." She two, one her case..omg she runs all night! Then drinks tons of water, and runs again. I need to learn from her, haha

Everyone calls her a mouse, but she's not!
She's just grey & white like one, which I love : )
It's so hard to take her picture b/c she moves so fast!
Winkie's Habitat

I'll try to get her face soon, lol
I made a video, but I haven't uploaded it yet.
It's a Winkie workout video.



  1. I'm very bad when it comes to letting go of my stuff too -.-" I'm very sentimental when it comes to gifts too. Me and hubby argue the whole day before I let him throw away things X(
    I know it's very hard to live in a new place with few friends or none yet. Home sweet home, I used to be homesick for thr first two years I was abroad. But cheer up, you still have so many things to be thankful of :)
    You will get adjusted very soon :) and winkie is such a cutie pie!!

  2. I'm the same with you not having much money when I was younger and growing up being able to make money (from working at the nail shop like a typical asian girl and other jobs), I spent my money without thinking much. I think sometimes but most of the time..... I like to spend spend spend! It's really hard for me to let go of things =[ But now... having two rooms, it's both packed! lol. I feel the same way about moving out of state. You know my situation =[ I feel so out of place when I'm not with him. I have no one to talk to, no real friends.... worst of all, no family in this damn state to even go over and just chill over there. Food isn't the same, I feel uncomfortable living here =T The things we do for the hunnie -___-

  3. Cheer up girl... You're not the only girl with a hell of a mess at home and it's funny coz I only recently showed pictures of my messy room BUT it actually all of it~~~ There is mess beyond my room which I've created throughout the house hahahaha.. I figured it's really a girl thing don't you reckon?

  4. I meant it actually AIN'T all of it~~~

  5. Hey Steph, you are going through a BIG life transition!! I remember when I moved to the U.K. in 1996..I did know a few people, but it WAS another country!! Fortunately the other half and the job kept me going!

    I agree that you may want to move to a small house--that will force you to get organized!

    Winkie is sooooo adorable!!

  6. One day when you get used to the "outside", please do join clubs that you like (sports that requires teamwork, cuisine, pottery, arts or something like that) I know you can easily socialize with ppl :P Anyway That's what I did when I'm alone. It keeps u busy, it grows ur contact network but it also lets the stress out. Well according to your post, why don't you join a Cuisine session? it lets you taste different kinds of dishes!
    Winkie's home is sooo fun to be in lol Mine was like soooo boring with a wheel + some colorful tunnels...lol..
    I can imagine you when you saw that Cinderella style running wheel in the pet shop LOOOL *buy buy buy buy* !! xD !!!!
    This is a good challenge for you for being in this house, in my opinion! take this opportunity to do whatever you want! later on, you'll be sooo busy with kids!! LOL
    Why don't your sister come and live with you? xD
    Have a good day, my twin-samo.prescription girl! xD!!

  7. Steph, I'm so glad you posted this. I am exactly the same way as you. I didn't have/get much money when I was younger so I was always jealous of my friends who had tons of stuff. Now that I'm older I have issues with buying too much stuff and stuff I don't really need! I think it's because of the way I grew up. It definitely gets me in trouble... I buy things and I never wear them or use them! Or I'll buy a gajillion backups of a makeup item and I'll realize that I didn't need to buy so many! Eesh. I'm also a pack rat, so I can't ever throw anything away. Instead of tossing stuff, I just pack it into boxes and it just sits in a corner or in my mom's basement. :) I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one. :)

  8. How are you?! Awww... One of my friend's went through this change as well. It is difficult moving in to a new place/area. It takes time I guess. Take care! Have fun! And I feel you.. I'm super broke right now. HAHHA. I need to stop spending. HAHA. I can't help it sometimes.. Arghh..

  9. Hang in there girl! I totally know how you eel. I moved out of SF to Minnesota tight out of highschool to be with a bf. NO friends, just him. It was the hardest thing I had to do, but the best thing! You def get use to it and become more independent. You just learn to do things on your own, which is good thing. It'll be ok in a couple of months.

  10. It's the first time you moved out from home of course it will take some time for you to get used to the lifestyle of living without family. Don't worry, you will get used to it... home sick will make you a more independent person it is a process of growing up. Feel better... it's good that you have all the ideas to create your pieces, just let the creativity flow and things will turn out the way you want it :)

  11. living on your own can be difficult in so many ways - no more carefree lifestyle, worrying about affording food, toiletries, and the like! It also gets lonely. :) At least you have Minh though (i only have 1 roomie and boyf comes 1 day a week or every other weekend)

    its good you have your jewelry business....i just sit and bum on my ass if i'm not at yoga. haha.

  12. Its hard without Martin here too, he helps me make my jewelry and make choices (cause I tend to go nuts too and its really bad that you can SHOP ONLINE, I dont even have to get up)! I cant even call him =\.

    I miss having a hamster! I could really use the company right about now. But Martin said I cant get one cause we might be moving soon and I might not be able to take it with me. And I spent about $1000 on hamster vet bills on my last hamster (he was my baby! he totally deserved it! plus he lived to be two years)!

  13. awww. this post kinda made me sad. you should yelp something to do in Bellevue. if you go out and do something you'll meet people and have friends. then when minh goes out of town again you will have other ways to entertain yourself. =)

  14. Hi babe!

    aww I KNOW how you feel Ive done and been in the same situation as you, moved to here for my BF, and about your past and all its sounds really similar to mine X3

    just know that you have all the girls including me that truly care about you babe! whenever you need to talk to me you know where Im at! take things day by day and once you get out more and more you'll get comfortable with the surroundings :D

    your hamster is so kawaii i had one LONG ago but my hammie didnt have pimped out carriage like your hammi LOL they are so cute but once you let them out they cant wait to get out of their house mine chewed up the plastic to escape LOL XD

  15. Oh sweetie, I'm sorry that you've been down lately. I can only imagine how hard things are for you being somewhere so far. It sort of sounds like when I moved up north for school. I hated it ( and I still dont' like it much either, but it gets better ) Being up for school was a HUGE adjustment, I went from the city to the country and then I had no one near me, I was all by myself up here. No friends or anything. I think it jus ttakes a little where to adjust. I know that it's not quite what you had expected, but I know it will work out for you. I mean Minh is only gone temporarily, he'll be back to hold you in his arms and comfort you.

    And yeah, I know what it's like to spend. Especially after moving up here to school bymyself. I had (and still have) a tendency to buy things to make myself feel better even though I know I shouldn't. X__X

    Just keep up the good work with DSK & I'm sure everything will turn out just great for you hun <3

  16. I am having a crazy busy weekend, but still somehow manage to procrastinate.. :X Your post really caught my eye.

    When I was younger, my parents made everything very easy for me, despite them being immigrants and all. They tried so hard to make sure I had what I needed, and most of what I wanted. Home cooking and being in a constantly clean house is something I miss.

    My freshman year of college, I lived in the dorms. Everything was so easy! All the food taken care of, bills paid. Gains like 10 lbs eating the buffet in the dining hall.

    Sophomore year, EVERYTHING changed. I was going to school, in charge of paying the bills, grocery shopping, cleaning (!). My parents don't help me out with my bills or rent anymore, so I've got to live off of the financial aid from school, and what I can make from jewelry. Sometimes, a certain roommate would "forget" to pay her portion of either rent or utilities on time, and I'd have to cover for her, leaving me with literally $10 in the bank. Cmon. I'm poor. I can't afford to lend someone $500! Nuh uh! I guess it's a good thing I sleep in the living room, and rent's only $350 for me a month, but ehhh :\. Books = $300/quarter x 3 = $900/year. Rent = $350/month Utilities = $80-120 a month. Food = god don't even go there, I love food so much. + entertainment (movies, outtings, etc)Even living at this kind of standard, I spend so much money! This is partially why I don't have any fancy makeup, and am so envious of you ladies who can buy the MAC, lol.

    Living on your own is hard, but also a pretty amazing experience. I'm happy and really touched to hear that despite all the downs, you're trying to make the best of it.

    Go out, Steph! Randomly go for a stroll or something, maybe you'll meet some neighbors. Or visit the local coffee shop and chat up the regulars.

    Good luck! =) <3

  17. hey girl.. aww.. hope you get out of this stint soon.. but really i'd get excited going to a new city and just can't wait to head out and explore.. i mean what do you have to lose.. don't be afraid to try new things in new city.. check out the transportation around the area and just go.. my first 3 months in MD, I practically knew how to get around, where to go for great food places etc compared to the yr that hubby came before me. since you have internet, yelp.com is a great site to go and check out the best places to go and eat in ur area.. embrace your new life and explore girl! =)

  18. awww don't feel so down, you got all your dsk-ers here <3

    btw, your pet is really cute! reminds me of g-force lol

  19. baby doll, i wish you were closer. I applaud you for having the guts to pick up and move to another state!
    hopefully everything works out better soon <3

    more pics!!! how cute!

  20. awww babe! hope you feel better soon! im sure you'll grow to love your house in no time =) besides you always have us to count on! loves you!

  21. I'm such a pack rat too & I like to buy anything.....and the worst thing is that we move from one state or town every 3 mos....Oh..I hope u feel better, basically I'm at home too all week while hubby is at work and I don't know how to drive so I can't go out whenever i want...so I know it's so depressing...Thank god..for internet & Hobbies....

  22. awww. i get bummed when my bf goes on business trips, too. i can imagine how it is for you being in a new city. you are a funny sweet gal, i'm sure you'll make new friends in no time. I can relate with you about living in a house thats too big. My mom and I have that problem. My mom was always wishing for a bigger house (its not a huge mansion, just bigger than our old house), and now she has it, but we get so scared being in it by ourselves. I live near the mountains and all my neighbors are retired old peeps who never make noise or go outside their homes. We are far from busy streets, so man, at night it gets soooo quiet. you can hear yourself breathe, every tick tock of every clock in the house. oh, and the whole shopping thing. i can totally relate. when i finally finished college and got a good paying job, i went nuts and bought everything i saw. I still haul like crazy. I end up giving stuff away to relative, donating stuff, or selling things on ebay. My boyfriend keeps telling me that i shouldn't have bought it in the first place if i'm just going to get rid of it or sell it. i don't cook, so i end up spending a ton of money on just food. my mom doesn't cook as much anymore, so we are always going out to eat. girl, i feel like we have a lot in common. we'd totally get along. maybe we shouldn't shop together, cuz i'd say yes to you buying everything. you are on my list of bloggers who i want to personally meet someday. we'd have a lot to talk about!!! <3 Rina

  23. WINKIE!!! LOL! Don't worry I'm sure Minh will come around! :) She's so cute how can he not?! Love the Cinderella Carriage Wheel! :)

    I'm a sentimental PackRat too. I still have every single stuffed animal from the time I was a baby. Though they all sit in a bunch of SpaceBags now. Love those things! LOL! And I still have little bags and totes from when I was a kid too!

    And we love your creativity! :) And I'm sure you're gonna make "close to home" friends soon! How could anyone NOT fall in love with yoU!

  24. gee Steph, I didn't know all this! I felt the same way when I ran away from home to live with my boyfriend. I had bad insomnia too whenever he would leave and wouldn't know what to do with myself. I spent all my time on the internet and got really depressed. Just know you have a big community out here in the blogworld to support you whenever you are down =)

  25. I know the packrat thing all too well myself lol! Winkie is so cute, her house is so glamorous :D

  26. oh my gosh
    the cinderella-esque running wheel is adorable ~


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