Shoo, Jimmy Choo

(scroll down to read the Shoo, Jimmy Choo part) ^^

Note to my roommates & Minh's kin: This is Stephanie's blog where I write my thoughts and reflect on my life. If you read up on my life, it's from my perspective. If your feelings get hurt, I'm sorry but I never shared this with you. Why visit, I'm not that interesting...you surely know that! you live in the same house with me. I'm pretty boring in the flesh.

Minh kindly asked me to take down my post just in case they decide to continue to visit & bring it up. I'm going to respect Minh & private the posts expressing my frustrations. Sometimes, even months later, when an issue is resolved, I private certain posts. It make sense because I have already found closure.

I don't e-mail my roommates and tell them to read my blog. I've had my blog around before I even met them. It really irritates me that Minh's sister who doesn't even live here chooses to visit my blog, and then refer my roommates to read. I was really sad when I found out she started reading my blog. I took down all my old youtube videos because I found out mom, aunts and uncles found my youtube channel.

It's not like anyone they know know reads UNLESS she starts sharing it --this is my space where I keep in touch with my readers/ friends & some cousins from across the country to deal with any issues I may be having. I share the good times too, it's a blog ---that's what people do!

I made it pretty clear that my blog friends are my closest friends. Especially during a time like this, when I'm physically 3,000 miles away from someone who loves me (apart form Minh of course).

I write for entertainment. I have a great passion for blogging, and a great passion to express myself freely. I don't think I need to feel ashamed to post about my likes and dislikes. I definitely don't sugar coat anything...I never say to anyone that I dislike them to their face. I just pretend they don't exist and carry on with my life. Living for me and those I think are super cool.

Also, the FAMOUS QUOTE by Benjamin Franklin
"Guests, like fish, Smell Bad after 3 Days"

It's a famous METAPHOR, didn't mean to offend anyone.
I did not call anyone a FISH!
Plus, I'm not a creative genius like Ben Frank to have thought of such a beautiful line.

I do have to confess something, I barely ever read a negative e-mail, or a negative comment I get anywhere because I know I will just get higher blood pressure hahaha.
I don't see why you should read a negative comment or e-mail...it will just bring you down, and being around online as long as I have. I don't go looking for people to dislike me just to get a reaction. I am who I am, if you don't like me, ignore me, carry on. I do the same for those I don't fancy. I pretend they don't exist. In terms of my roommates negative e-mails...I can't pretend they don't exist, but I skim my e-mail first, close it. Calm down, and then attempt to read it when I'm rational, that may be minutes later, or hours and days later.

The only thing that hurts me the most, is know what could have been.
When my mom visited Seattle, and spent more time with Minh's family --she left so happy.
She was so happy that Minh's family was so fun to be around. Especially his parents, they're very easy going, and have a great sense of humor.

My Mom is a talker, and she loved talking Minh's sisters & their boyfriends most.
She seriously was in love with how funny one of his sister's bf's jokes were.
She said they're all "vui ve, hien lan"
It's true, I thought I was pretty blessed.

Why I thought life was going to be perfect, a series of events.

1. How the hell did I find me a Vietnamese boyfriend???
2. How the hell did I find me a Vietnamese-American boyfriend???
3. How the hell did I find me a law student (at the time)???
4. How the hell did I find someone so nice, who loved me so much even when I was so cold??
5. How the hell is his family so damn nice?
6. How the hell are Minh's siblings all my age? I have 3 new friends!

It was unreal to me! Everyone seemed really nice, let me correct myself, everyone is very nice and they all seem to love each other a lot.
It's just unfortunately that we decided to live together with his sibling during a time where Minh & I are still figuring out our future, our finances, and trying to figure out a good date. I don't even want to think about a date anymore. I just picture his siblings being mean or disappointed the day we get married or something. It's rough, it's even harder when Minh got so sad and asked me not to leave. He said he already planned to spend his life with me. I assured him that I won't be gone forever, my stuff will still be here. I'll come back when I'm comfortable. Man..I'm tearing up replaying this conversation. I've never seen him so hurt before. It's not like I wouldn't be returning, but I knew he was scared that my feelings will change and that we would part.

I am difficult, and I do replay issues that bother me over and over again. (Hence all the blog posts about my living situation). I know that..Minh knows I replay and beat something until it's dead. He is with me because he accepts me for who I am. He helps me fight the negative energy off when it's affects my spirit.
I try to do the same for him.

I just can't help how I feel. It really isn't fair for my roommates to live with their bf & gf too under our roof without saying anything to anyone. I dunno, it's a tough one, everyone's a grown adult, but still...they do have other roommates who they should have considered. It's not a money issue, but it came out that way because that's just how it is...when it comes to fairness, it's rough.
What other way is there to justify why you're upset? If you don't want it to get personal, you have to bring up a common roommate issue to put it on the table.


Two Paraphrased things that were addressed towards moi:

"You should let it go that they have guests sleep over, you have to remember you're the one that stay at home all day using up the resources, do they ever say anything to you?"

"If my guest can't stay over then all the lights should be turned out by 1opm because the rest of us have to go to sleep for work." (knowing that I stay up late to work).

Lets analyze. The main issue was not addressed, retaliation was in effect.

The issue is extra bodies encompassed inside a leased home, not the issue of energy consumption.

The issue of resource consumption is a tad bit hurtful to me because they used it as leverage and to defend themselves of their wrong doing by inviting their friend to move in.

I really don't mind paying more for the energy or whatever bills they want me to pay extra for ...because honestly, my accountant is going to factor a percentage of the money as tax deductible through my business since it is operated out of my home. It is easier for everyone when we split everything 4 ways, but I'm open for an equation to make it fair if they feel like they got the shorter end of the stick.

I think the main issue was just the courtesy and respect you give another person, especially someone who shares your living quarters.

So if you live with other people, be sure to say something if it bothers you right away, instead of holding it in. Because if you hold it in, or someone puts a cap on your bottle (like Minh did to me)...you will explode and if you're anything like a bottle of soda, it creates a sticky mess to clean up!

My relationship with Minh's sisters is the sticky mess that Minh & I have created.
How do I plan to clean up this mess? Move back home, and reflect on our relationship(s).
I did cry about the fact that I knew this would ruin any good relationship I had built with Minh's sisters. I felt like I got close to his sisters because they're my age. I learned my lesson, don't make vulgar jokes around them. They may take offense to it. LESSON LEARNED!

Steph, don't call people names if you know what's good for you! This is so hard for me!
I humor myself to keep my sanity when I'm upset. Isn't humor the best cure for any disease?

Anyhow.

Minh & I somewhat resolved our issues between one another last night. There were tears involved of course. Now I know he cares about me as much as I ever had. He told me that he looks forward to coming home to see my face everyday after work. He said even though we only spend 3 hours together before he has to go to sleep...it's the best part of his day. (I pretty much was in tears when he said that to me.) What hurts the most is that our relationship got hit so bad just because we had a conflict of interest on the living situation. I wanted to voice my say so long ago, but Minh did not. I got mad because I want the man I'm with to be just that, a man who can voice his feelings. I know it's harder for guys, but still...it hurts me to see you upset hunnie.

I still am going to go to Michigan just to give myself some space & to visit my family and friends that I haven't seen in a while. Minh's trying to negotiate with me how long I should be gone for. He says go two weeks, come back..and go another two weeks in the coming months. My only fear is that I dislike flying. I dislike security check points, I dislike grouchy airport employees in the early morning. lol

Anyhow, the title of my post, "Shoo, Jimmy Choo," is actually a book I picked up today from Barnes & Nobles. I spent a few minutes read through the book, and it looks like a book that can change my life! It's a girl's guide to cut back on her shopping & "luxury material addictions." The best part is that it talks about saving for that home, and saving for retirement. BINGO. That's what I need. I haven't had a chance to explore my options in terms of IRA's. I remember a few details from taking Personal Finance in college (at one point I wanted to be a personal adviser). The professor of that class was a personal adviser and she shared with us that her income along with teaching was well over $100k with a delicious 401K plan that matched dollar to dollar. Obviously, that was not a direction I chose. :D

I'm excited to start reading Shoo, Jimmy Choo (what an attention grabbing title, right?) I'll definitely give you a good review soon. It's pretty straight forward, to the point & an easy read like Skinny Bitch. Shoo, Jimmy Choo is $14.95 & I'll let you know if it's worth buying. I also picked up another book, it's nothing exciting. It's just a book on how to get the most deductions for small businesses in 2009. Even though DSK has an accountant, I don't want to be ignorant. I want to make sure I know everything that they do for my business. I guess I just like to learn. Plus, it will be exciting to get to study again. ^^ This book is quite thick. The price was $34.95--not too bad if it will help me understand my business better.

I love that it was written by an attorney lol
Another thing last night, Minh told me that I need him because "not all small businesses like yours can afford to have an attorney 24/7. Look at how lucky you are to have me." I guess he has a point. He saves DSK Jewelry Company lots of money.
Thank you darling. :)

Isn't that the truth? Sighhh, if you make too much money, they take away more of your money.
Where is the happy medium?
I want to know!

We actually just got back from watching Sherlock Holmes. I highly recommend the movie : ) I followed it throughout the whole movie. I couldn't believe Minh got lost! He said the accents threw him off. What a fob!

I find him mildly attractive. I look forward to Ironman 2

Jude Law looks so old now!
I've never been much of a Jude Law fan (although he has a cool name)

Go see it!