January 9, 2010

Shoo, Jimmy Choo

(scroll down to read the Shoo, Jimmy Choo part) ^^

Note to my roommates & Minh's kin: This is Stephanie's blog where I write my thoughts and reflect on my life. If you read up on my life, it's from my perspective. If your feelings get hurt, I'm sorry but I never shared this with you. Why visit, I'm not that interesting...you surely know that! you live in the same house with me. I'm pretty boring in the flesh.

kindly asked me to take down my post just in case they decide to continue to visit & bring it up. I'm going to respect Minh & private the posts expressing my frustrations. Sometimes, even months later, when an issue is resolved, I private certain posts. It make sense because I have already found closure.

I don't e-mail my roommates and tell them to read my blog. I've had my blog around before I even met them. It really irritates me that Minh's sister who doesn't even live here chooses to visit my blog, and then refer my roommates to read. I was really sad when I found out she started reading my blog. I took down all my old youtube videos because I found out mom, aunts and uncles found my youtube channel.

It's not like anyone they know know reads UNLESS she starts sharing it --this is my space where I keep in touch with my readers/ friends & some cousins from across the country to deal with any issues I may be having. I share the good times too, it's a blog ---that's what people do!

I made it pretty clear that my blog friends are my closest friends. Especially during a time like this, when I'm physically 3,000 miles away from someone who loves me (apart form Minh of course).

I write for entertainment. I have a great passion for blogging, and a great passion to express myself freely. I don't think I need to feel ashamed to post about my likes and dislikes. I definitely don't sugar coat anything...I never say to anyone that I dislike them to their face. I just pretend they don't exist and carry on with my life. Living for me and those I think are super cool.

Also, the FAMOUS QUOTE by Benjamin Franklin
"Guests, like fish, Smell Bad after 3 Days"

It's a famous METAPHOR, didn't mean to offend anyone.
I did not call anyone a FISH!
Plus, I'm not a creative genius like Ben Frank to have thought of such a beautiful line.

I do have to confess something, I barely ever read a negative e-mail, or a negative comment I get anywhere because I know I will just get higher blood pressure hahaha.
I don't see why you should read a negative comment or e-mail...it will just bring you down, and being around online as long as I have. I don't go looking for people to dislike me just to get a reaction. I am who I am, if you don't like me, ignore me, carry on. I do the same for those I don't fancy. I pretend they don't exist. In terms of my roommates negative e-mails...I can't pretend they don't exist, but I skim my e-mail first, close it. Calm down, and then attempt to read it when I'm rational, that may be minutes later, or hours and days later.

The only thing that hurts me the most, is know what could have been.
When my mom visited Seattle, and spent more time with Minh's family --she left so happy.
She was so happy that Minh's family was so fun to be around. Especially his parents, they're very easy going, and have a great sense of humor.

My Mom is a talker, and she loved talking Minh's sisters & their boyfriends most.
She seriously was in love with how funny one of his sister's bf's jokes were.
She said they're all "vui ve, hien lan"
It's true, I thought I was pretty blessed.

Why I thought life was going to be perfect, a series of events.

1. How the hell did I find me a Vietnamese boyfriend???
2. How the hell did I find me a Vietnamese-American boyfriend???
3. How the hell did I find me a law student (at the time)???
4. How the hell did I find someone so nice, who loved me so much even when I was so cold??
5. How the hell is his family so damn nice?
6. How the hell are Minh's siblings all my age? I have 3 new friends!

It was unreal to me! Everyone seemed really nice, let me correct myself, everyone is very nice and they all seem to love each other a lot.
It's just unfortunately that we decided to live together with his sibling during a time where Minh & I are still figuring out our future, our finances, and trying to figure out a good date. I don't even want to think about a date anymore. I just picture his siblings being mean or disappointed the day we get married or something. It's rough, it's even harder when Minh got so sad and asked me not to leave. He said he already planned to spend his life with me. I assured him that I won't be gone forever, my stuff will still be here. I'll come back when I'm comfortable. Man..I'm tearing up replaying this conversation. I've never seen him so hurt before. It's not like I wouldn't be returning, but I knew he was scared that my feelings will change and that we would part.

I am difficult, and I do replay issues that bother me over and over again. (Hence all the blog posts about my living situation). I know that..Minh knows I replay and beat something until it's dead. He is with me because he accepts me for who I am. He helps me fight the negative energy off when it's affects my spirit.
I try to do the same for him.

I just can't help how I feel. It really isn't fair for my roommates to live with their bf & gf too under our roof without saying anything to anyone. I dunno, it's a tough one, everyone's a grown adult, but still...they do have other roommates who they should have considered. It's not a money issue, but it came out that way because that's just how it is...when it comes to fairness, it's rough.
What other way is there to justify why you're upset? If you don't want it to get personal, you have to bring up a common roommate issue to put it on the table.

Two Paraphrased things that were addressed towards moi:

"You should let it go that they have guests sleep over, you have to remember you're the one that stay at home all day using up the resources, do they ever say anything to you?"

"If my guest can't stay over then all the lights should be turned out by 1opm because the rest of us have to go to sleep for work."
(knowing that I stay up late to work).

Lets analyze. The main issue was not addressed, retaliation was in effect.

The issue is extra bodies encompassed inside a leased home, not the issue of energy consumption.

The issue of resource consumption is a tad bit hurtful to me because they used it as leverage and to defend themselves of their wrong doing by inviting their friend to move in.

I really don't mind paying more for the energy or whatever bills they want me to pay extra for ...because honestly, my accountant is going to factor a percentage of the money as tax deductible through my business since it is operated out of my home. It is easier for everyone when we split everything 4 ways, but I'm open for an equation to make it fair if they feel like they got the shorter end of the stick.

I think the main issue was just the courtesy and respect you give another person, especially someone who shares your living quarters.

So if you live with other people, be sure to say something if it bothers you right away, instead of holding it in. Because if you hold it in, or someone puts a cap on your bottle (like Minh did to me)...you will explode and if you're anything like a bottle of soda, it creates a sticky mess to clean up!

My relationship with Minh's sisters is the sticky mess that Minh & I have created.
How do I plan to clean up this mess? Move back home, and reflect on our relationship(s).
I did cry about the fact that I knew this would ruin any good relationship I had built with Minh's sisters. I felt like I got close to his sisters because they're my age. I learned my lesson, don't make vulgar jokes around them. They may take offense to it. LESSON LEARNED!

Steph, don't call people names if you know what's good for you! This is so hard for me!
I humor myself to keep my sanity when I'm upset. Isn't humor the best cure for any disease?


Minh & I somewhat resolved our issues between one another last night. There were tears involved of course. Now I know he cares about me as much as I ever had. He told me that he looks forward to coming home to see my face everyday after work. He said even though we only spend 3 hours together before he has to go to sleep...it's the best part of his day. (I pretty much was in tears when he said that to me.) What hurts the most is that our relationship got hit so bad just because we had a conflict of interest on the living situation. I wanted to voice my say so long ago, but Minh did not. I got mad because I want the man I'm with to be just that, a man who can voice his feelings. I know it's harder for guys, but still...it hurts me to see you upset hunnie.

I still am going to go to Michigan just to give myself some space & to visit my family and friends that I haven't seen in a while. Minh's trying to negotiate with me how long I should be gone for. He says go two weeks, come back..and go another two weeks in the coming months. My only fear is that I dislike flying. I dislike security check points, I dislike grouchy airport employees in the early morning. lol

Anyhow, the title of my post, "Shoo, Jimmy Choo," is actually a book I picked up today from Barnes & Nobles. I spent a few minutes read through the book, and it looks like a book that can change my life! It's a girl's guide to cut back on her shopping & "luxury material addictions." The best part is that it talks about saving for that home, and saving for retirement. BINGO. That's what I need. I haven't had a chance to explore my options in terms of IRA's. I remember a few details from taking Personal Finance in college (at one point I wanted to be a personal adviser). The professor of that class was a personal adviser and she shared with us that her income along with teaching was well over $100k with a delicious 401K plan that matched dollar to dollar. Obviously, that was not a direction I chose. :D

I'm excited to start reading Shoo, Jimmy Choo (what an attention grabbing title, right?) I'll definitely give you a good review soon. It's pretty straight forward, to the point & an easy read like Skinny Bitch. Shoo, Jimmy Choo is $14.95 & I'll let you know if it's worth buying. I also picked up another book, it's nothing exciting. It's just a book on how to get the most deductions for small businesses in 2009. Even though DSK has an accountant, I don't want to be ignorant. I want to make sure I know everything that they do for my business. I guess I just like to learn. Plus, it will be exciting to get to study again. ^^ This book is quite thick. The price was $34.95--not too bad if it will help me understand my business better.

I love that it was written by an attorney lol
Another thing last night, Minh told me that I need him because "not all small businesses like yours can afford to have an attorney 24/7. Look at how lucky you are to have me." I guess he has a point. He saves DSK Jewelry Company lots of money.
Thank you darling. :)

Isn't that the truth? Sighhh, if you make too much money, they take away more of your money.
Where is the happy medium?
I want to know!

We actually just got back from watching Sherlock Holmes. I highly recommend the movie : ) I followed it throughout the whole movie. I couldn't believe Minh got lost! He said the accents threw him off. What a fob!

I find him mildly attractive. I look forward to Ironman 2

Jude Law looks so old now!
I've never been much of a Jude Law fan (although he has a cool name)

Go see it!


  1. I dislike airports and all of that flying stuff associated with traveling too. Glad you two talked it out and I wish you guys the best :)

  2. Awwww...a happy ending!!! That's what i like! I'm with you about flights. I hate to fly, especially alone. With stricters security, flying would be even more annoying than ever.

  3. sounds like a good compromise. :) glad that things were able to smooth out somewhat.

    I really like Robert Downey Jr. as an actor. My favorite movie from him is probably Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. It's a little weird at first, but it picks up quickly. You should definitely check it out!! :D And i enjoyed Sherlock Holmes a lot too. I really like that style of clothing. It looks so nice and put together...compared to many guys and girls of today. I guess the only bad thing was all the disease and such. XD but other than that I wouldn't mind being from that time. hehe

  4. Steph oh how I love your blog! OMG I wanna go out and buy that book! I love the fact you mention books in your blog because not everyone does. :) It's horrible people get upset over your post, you should feel free to continue to write whatever you wanna write. :) Oh man airport people are ridiculously MEAN in the U.S.! When I went to Okinawa, Japan OMG everyone was nice and BAM when I arrived home all the LAX people were ghetto and mean! Hehee! I thought I'd relate with you! :)

  5. That book sounds like something I need to read ASAP! It sounds like a good one=] Hope to read your review soon. Glad to hear everything is working out well for you. Don't worry about the he say, she say, it's been around for years. I hear the same stuff when it comes to my blog, but like you said, no one said to read it and go back reporting, when one does that they do it on their own will but they should respect your space, opinions and thoughts. Hope they read that, learn their lessons, and do what's best which is mind theirs!

  6. I wanna read that Shoo, Jimmy CHoo!! sounds so interestinG! :)
    Anyway, I understand how you feel Steph, I once live with room mates and of course there were so much disagreements because we all are different person with different personalities. Some of them will leave the kitchen messy and I hated that, they don't clean after them and I always leave them note to mop the floor if they spill something ect. Until Adrian and I got tired and got our own place. Now its so much better :)

  7. i was totally lost in the movie,my english isnt that good plus the seat wasnt comfortable
    everyone raving bout that movie and i was like,i fell asleep

  8. I'm glad you and Minh worked things out. I know how you feel though. Somedays it feels like I only see 'Cheese' when we're sleeping! LOL!

    As for your roommates, I'm glad everyone got to air out the issues.

    So some Sherlock Holmes eh?? And IronMan2 comes out soon too!

  9. It must be such a relief for you that things are cleared up with Minh !

    btw,everyone dislike these airports employees, who look at you as if you were a terrorist-to-be :p I like flying though, it's amazing to see things from this height !

  10. Hey Steph, don't stay away too long, but make sure that Minh rents a 2 bed condo for you too WITHOUT roomies!!

    I couldn't STAND having other people in my house...the 3-day rule really applies!! We will let people stay in our Muscat house for free when we are there, but we refuse to rent it out otherwise..and Jamal's brother is the only person who stays with us when we are there...he's very clean, and pitches in and is never a problem.

    Enjoy your break with your family, and do buy a round trip ticket...but make sure you won't have any unwanted company when you return to Bellevue!!

    Hang in there, Hun! I believe in you and Minh!

  11. Wow, that was deep and I can't believe I read every single words you wrote! lol.

    Let's start off with the living situation: I understand why you're upset/mad at him for not being the man you want him to be but I guess a lot of guys are like that. He just wants to live peacefully. Maybe it's a better choice if you pay a little bit more than the other roommates since you do stay home most of the time. However, don't they use the energy at home at night or something also? Fighting just make the relationship stronger (for you and Minh's sister). You're going to have a conflict with the family one day or another on a topic. It's perfectly normal but hold in that fire of words! They can really offend people and it's good that you have learned that lesson... let's just hope you actually don't throw those fire words out again -___-

    I heard a lot of people are recommending Sherlock Holmes. I might not get the chance to watch it until maybe next year =[

    Knowledge is power! One of my nursing instructor in high school always said that you should always have the knowledge of what is going on. Even though she was referring to medications and all that stuff in the medical field as a patient and as a nurse, it works in the business field too. You're just a dumbo if you let others do whatever they want to do and you have no idea what's going on. Plus, think of your future children! You'll let them know what's going on and they'll be able to have more knowledge than other people without picking up a single text book. lol.

  12. minh <3 steph

    i think it'll be great for you to visit home, but come back to him soon!!! even though he's busy, i'm sure he'll miss you all the same!!!

  13. have a fun and safe trip back home. fighting with the bf's sis isn't a bad thing. you both are two different people and have different views. you both like each other because of who the other person is and fighting is just some conflict and things can be patch up. *hugs* spend some time w/ your family and friends and then come back and have a fresh start.

  14. You've had a rough few weeks. I think your decision in the end was good to give yourself some space and to get away from all the negativity. Maybe when you're back your roomies will finally see your perspective of things because when confronted it seems natural to most people to blame someone else rather than own up to it. Anywho, I'm happy that you worked things out with your bf and *hugs* cause it seems like you might need one =)

  15. although ure in a rough situation, it seems that your bf is very understanding and even though its not an ideal situation with his sisters at the moment. The most important thing is that he supports you and the two of you are on the same page. Perhaps time and distance is a good thing for you and his sisters, it will give you guys time to reflect and cool down. Sometimes it just takes time for people to learn to see things from others' perspectives. I hope that eventually they'll come around and see it from your point of view. Hope it all works out for u !

  16. I'm sorry about all your frustrations. I would be frustrated, too. I'm kinda like you... I talk and talk and talk about stuff until it's been beaten into a pulp. It's pretty bad. I just always need to talk things out so that they make sense, y'know?

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  18. I hope everything works out =]

  19. aww steph I hope you feel better hun! Have fun back at home and relax a bit. *huggiez* Hope everything works out for you, and I hope the best for you and Minh!!

  20. your post was so sad ='[
    at least there was some sort of compromise...
    what doesn't break you only makes you stronger!!!

    i love robert downey jr. *drools*

  21. hi Steph. I have been a silent reader of your blog. And just want to say I have all the sympathy with you. With people uninvited reading the blog and making opinions at your face and your bf situation.
    Do what you feel is for you. Remember you have accomplish a lot for your age, and to be this young and committed in a relationship, i salute you.
    I had an experience when I started my relationship, my bf at the time decided to google me and check me out. I wrote a private blog detailing my relationship and he confronted me. i told him if he's not happy reading about it then he can go away. Sometimes I dun think people understand bloggers, or why we blog. There is an audience outthere listening to us, and it is fun to keep in touch this way. Anway, this bf to sneak his nose around, hehe, I'm marrying to now.
    It is good that minh is on your side, go home, relax, stop and think. i'm sure your family will keep you warm and happy.

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